


Between a Cock and a Hard Place

by PositivePumpkin



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Blow Jobs, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Changing of efforts, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley cries during sex, Cunnilingus, Don't Try This At Home, Don't try and clone yourself to fuck your demon lover, Double Penetration, I mean it, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other, Overstimulation, Penis In Vagina Sex, Spitroasting, Spitroasting but with a vulva on one end, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), and, aziraphale gets creative, crowley is shook, followed shortly by, or at the very least, warn them first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:50:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PositivePumpkin/pseuds/PositivePumpkin
Summary: Prompt: okay, look, the prompts were kind of all over the place, the gist of it is: Aziraphale makes a double of himself and fucks Crowley with it. So two Aziraphale's fuck Crowley at the same time. It's smut, just pure smut. Mind the tags as you go.





	Between a Cock and a Hard Place

Aziraphale had begun to, well, move fast. Now that Heaven and Hell had been properly scared of them, and unlikely to retaliate, he had a lot of years of loving to make up for. Crowley, his sweet demon had loved him since Eden. It was remarkable that such a splendid creature hadn’t grown tired of waiting, all that time. 6,000 years, and he had been over the moon just from holding hands on that long bus ride after Armegeddidn’t-happen.

It took a lot of convincing, Aziraphale had only wanted to protect him after all, the love was very much reciprocated. It was just, he had needed time to come to terms with his and Crowley’s feelings. And, he needed to make plans in case anyone came asking. Protections had to be put in place.

But now, now that they were free, they could do as they like. And Aziraphale had a lot of time to make up for. Which is why he was currently standing in a semi-circle of mirrors, completely nude. He rather liked his corporation and, judging by the enthusiasm Crowley showed whenever they were amorous, the demon did too. So, he had to make sure he got this _just_ right.

It was less a true clone, than an extension of his Divine Self. They were both him, just, now he had two forms. One a Corporation, the other, a vaguely tangible manifestation of Aziraphale’s making. It had been rather difficult to make, but once made it was no trouble to keep his ‘other self’ up and running. It was difficult in a sort of way to distinguish ‘him’ from his, well, creation. In his mind, he just took to calling it ‘Zira.’

Aziraphale gave himself a rather lovely cunt, one he knew the demon quite enjoyed thoroughly. Zira was given a fat, thick cock, also well enjoyed by his dear Crowley. As he stared at himself, this time without the aid of mirrors, he briefly thought about whether it’d be considered masturbation or not if he had instead decided to ride Zira’s cock. It’d certainly be some kind of vanity, a _self-love_ of a different sort.

Now that he was satisfied at the result of his ‘experimentation,’ he snapped, the many mirrors disappearing, and his clothing once more on his body. Zira was dressed in rather tasteful lingerie and left in the upstairs bedroom. All that was left, was to wait for Crowley’s return home. He settled down in his favourite armchair and propped open a rather saucy romantic (Crowley would’ve called it erotic) novel and waited.

It thankfully didn’t take too long until Crowley was home with a cheery, “hello, Angel,” and an armful of groceries and a new potted plant in the other. The poor plant looked quite wretched, which is probably why Crowley picked it up. It would have to wait, however, as his time with the demon was much more important. Aziraphale snapped his fingers and the groceries were put up and the plant transported to the garden. At Crowley’s sputtering and indignities, Aziraphale merely raised an eyebrow and motioned the demon over with a come-hither movement of his finger.

Crowley, sweet, lovely Crowley immediately homed in on the angel and within seconds was at his knees in front of the armchair. Aziraphale put his hand in the red sea that was the demon’s hair, and smiled softly, “my dear, if you’re amenable, I’ve put together a surprise for you. If you’d like to come upstairs to the bedroom with me?” The angel only just managed a coy batting of his lashes, his cheeks flushed a little at the naughty things he had planned for his love.

Crowley groaned and pressed his head to Aziraphale’s knee. He mumbled something against the fabric of the angel’s trousers. It wasn’t a clear yes, so the angel tugged on the red locks, forcing the demon’s head up to try and speak again. “Yes,” that delightful hiss was back in full force, “please, Aziraphale, I’m all yours.”

“Oh, my dear, I’m quite aware,” Aziraphale smiled, not quite properly angelic, but then he wasn’t a proper angel. He let his hand unclench and he pulled away. When Crowley stood, he moved the demon in front of him and had him march up the stairs. A hand on his lower back kept him moving.

When the demon opened the door, he gasped, before whirling back around to Aziraphale, a touch of fear in his eyes. It took a second before the angel realized his misstep, “oh, oh my dear, don’t worry, it’s just me. It’s a, well a projection of sorts. Splitting my concentration in twain if you please. I only want to lather my attentions on you my sweet, loving demon.”

Crowley was immediately relieved, that this wasn’t some sort of sick trap. Instead it was just his bit-o-bastard angel. “Anything you like Angel. You know that, right? Whatever you like, we’ll do it. It’s hardly a hardship, being the sole receiver of all your angelic love,” at that, Crowley winked.

“My love, nothing about this is going to be angelic,” Aziraphale said, before fisting the lapels of the ridiculous thing Crowley dared call a jacket. Before long buttons were popping and fabric was ripping from divine strength. Crowley was a helpless mess already, moaning and barely helping remove any of the clothing. That was alright, Aziraphale was used to being the coherent one in these proceedings.

Zira came from behind Crowley, startling the demon before he relaxed once more as more hands began roaming his body. Zira kissed and bit and sucked at the demon’s neck and shoulders, determined to leave all sorts of lovely marks to paint the skin. Someone’s hands were teasing his nipples, another set had begun gripping his hips. It was maddening.

“Oh, my dear, you’re already looking quite a mess,” Aziraphale hummed, between applying kisses all over Crowley’s face. “I can’t wait to watch you getting fucked by my cock, see you taken apart before me, perhaps hold your head down on my cunt to muffle your delightful begging.”

“Fuck,” Crowley whined, hips trying desperately to twitch, but unable to move from the firm, strong grip. It just made him all the more hotter, arousal hot and heavy in the remains of his trousers. His silky knickers were damp as his cock throbbed and jerked. “Please, Aziraphale, anything. I can take it, promise, have me however you like, I’m yours.”

“Mine,” Aziraphale’s eyes flashed, something normally caused by Divine Wrath, now caused by a wonderful possessiveness. It made Crowley shiver with a heady mix of arousal and trepidation. The angel was really going to take him apart, wasn’t he?

Between Aziraphale and Zira, the two shoved and dragged Crowley onto the bed and moved him how they wanted him. There were always at least two hands on Crowley, touching, squeezing, and plain driving him mad with lust. Aziraphale was sat in front of him, thankfully nude at last, with legs spread wide. His cunt was already shiny and wet, his thighs likewise covered in slick. He was eager to dive in, get his sinful tongue between those folds, but he had to wait for permission. Well, he didn’t _have_ to, but he wanted to.

Behind him, Zira was holding up his hips, bending him over until his weight was solely on his chest. Then slick fingers began teasing and prodding at his rim. Crowley whined, already desperate enough to use a miracle to open himself up. But Aziraphale, and by extension, Zira, enjoyed this part of the process. Enjoyed teasing him and wringing out as much pleasure as they could before getting to the main event.

When Zira finally breached him with one finger, Aziraphale began running his hands through the demon’s hair. It was wonderfully relaxing, making it that much easier for Zira to open him up. Not that it made the process go any faster. If anything, the two ethereal beings on either end of him seemed to luxuriate in the openness and vulnerability of the demon.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been. It was just one finger, not even past the first knuckle for so long. Crowley clenched and unclenched his hands into the sheets. He was desperately and wantonly trying to force the finger in deeper. Instead Zira kept it just barely in, teasing at the rim.

Eventually the finger slipped deeper, slick miraculously never drying, only properly lubricating. Aziraphale moved one hand out of the demon’s hair, and placed fingers in his mouth. Crowley dutifully sucked and licked and properly coated them with saliva. He near sobbed when the fingers were taken away. When Aziraphale began teasing his cunt, right in front of Crowley’s face, Zira added a second finger to begin teasing at the demon’s rim.

The whole process was deliciously, painfully, wonderfully, terribly slow. Zira had three fingers in him now, unnecessary, as the demon preferred a tight fit, but still delightful. Crowley had gone completely nonverbal, only able to drool and moan and whimper. Aziraphale had begun whispering encouraging words. Telling Crowley how beautiful he was, how tantalizing he looked, how _good_ he was being.

It was madness. His cock was regularly dripping and twitching. Crowley’s mouth hadn’t closed since Aziraphale’s fingers were in it. A puddle of drool surrounded him as he watched, open mouthed and full of awe as Aziraphale teased himself and spread his slick around his labia. It was so much, and they hadn’t even gotten to proper fucking yet.

The fingers left him, and Crowley trembled. He couldn’t whine or plead, not when he knew what that meant, what was coming for him, and hopefully soon, in him. He eagerly waited, wiggling his arse as enticingly as he could. It wasn’t clear if the wiggle worked, or if Zira was just moving at his own speed, as the manifestation shoved Crowley forward, until his face was smothered with Aziraphale’s cunt.

Crowley didn’t need to think as he moaned and immediately went to servicing his angel. If it wasn’t for the slick sounds of Aziraphale’s cunt, the delighted moans of the angel above him, and the debauched whimpers of Crowley himself, the demon might’ve noticed the sound of a cock being slicked up. Instead it was a delightful surprise as the blunt head pushed past his loose hole.

This time, Crowley did sob as he was filled with that wonderfully thick cock. Zira didn’t give him much time to adjust before he was sliding out and slamming back in. Fuck, it was everything Crowley wanted and more. He was being fucked into Aziraphale’s cunt. Said angel began writhing, trying desperately to find stimulation on his clit with the demon’s nose. Aziraphale’s hand in his demon’s hair turned into a harsh grip.

Distantly, Crowley thought he could come just from this. His mouth was full of Aziraphale’s taste, his nose full of Aziraphale’s scent, his eyes full of Aziraphale’s lovely curves. And his ass, full of Aziraphale’s or at least, a manifestation of Aziraphale’s, cock. Crowley wasn’t one for eating, he much preferred this kind of fullness.

Despite the thighs pressing against his ears, he could still hear Aziraphale cry out his name, so finely tuned to it as he was, as the angel came. Crowley was wrong, as he previously thought he couldn’t get more full, but now Aziraphale was _gushing_ into his mouth. He put his talented tongue to use as he drew out every drop he could and allowed his angel to ride out the orgasm against his face.

It was curious, in a detached sort of way, that Zira hadn’t come when Aziraphale did. But then, it was a manifestation, could it even come? Fuck, Crowley hoped so. He was dragged away from both his thoughts and Aziraphale’s cunt by the hand in his hair. He moaned and struggled to go back to that delicious heat, but the angel held him firm.

“Now, now, my dear,” Aziraphale tutted, he was only slightly breathless and wonderfully flushed, “don’t you worry, I’ll fill that sinful mouth of yours soon. Would you like to suck my cock now? I think it might give me a bit of a break from the sensitivity.”

Crowley could only moan and nod, each move of his head causing his hair to be tugged. Aziraphale stuck two fingers in his cunt and milked out more slick until his hand was thoroughly coated. Then with a wave and a bit of concentration, he manifested his preferred cock, just as thick and hard as the one currently still pounding into the demon’s ass. Aziraphale then coated his cock with his own slick and let the demon loose on it.

Crowley was getting hysterical with his need to come. Surely, this is what humans meant by rapture. His mouth and ass both full of thick cock. He could barely breathe as each thrust of Zira forced Aziraphale’s cock deeper in his throat. It felt like he was suspended in a sea of sensation, yet still neither entity touched his leaking cock. Where they waiting for him to come untouched? Fuck, was he even allowed to come?

A particularly brutal thrust forced his nose into Aziraphale’s unruly riot of pubic hair. He groaned around the intrusion in his mouth as Zira filled his ass with come. Maybe now he’d be allowed to come, now that both had come once. Instead he was forced up and off the cock previously in his mouth. Crowley made a rather undignified noise of protest before Zira was hoisting him up. His legs were spread wide and open with Zira sitting back so he could continue fucking into the demon, who was now on display for Aziraphale.

“Just look at you,” Aziraphale gasped in awe, he was idly stroking his cock as he looked Crowley up and down. He felt so exposed, belly of the snake showing, forced open for Aziraphale’s pleasure, it was intoxicating. “You’re so beautiful, so good for me. Would you like to come dear? Do you want to orgasm with my cock in your ass and my mouth on yours?”

Crowley’s cock gave its best shot at coming right then and there, but it still wasn’t enough. He needed that extra stimulation, the slower, deeper pace Zira set was lighting him up, but he _needed_ his cock touched. So, Crowley licked his lips, swallowed the lingering taste of Aziraphale down, and _begged_. “Please,” his hiss so terribly prominent that the individual words were barely discernible, “please Aziraphale, angel, please let me come. I’ve been so good, haven’t I? Please!”

“Yes, oh yes, my dear you have been so wonderfully good for me,” Aziraphale crawled over and kissed the leaking tip of Crowley’s cock. “Whenever you’re ready my dear, let me taste your love.” With that, Aziraphale opened his mouth and began sucking and licking the already over-sensitive head of his demon’s cock. Crowley’s hands immediately found grips in Aziraphale’s hair. It took a lot of work to not shove the angel further down.

Every pass of tongue and every suck made him gasp and sob. Was it possible to discorporate from this overwhelming pleasure? His trembling body wasn’t sure as his vision began darkening around the edges until finally, blessedly, Aziraphale took the whole length of Crowley down his throat.

It was like the sun had burst behind Crowley’s eyes as his vision whited out and a rather embarrassing noise was forced out of him by his orgasm. He couldn’t tell if the throbbing of his cock was from the greedy sucking of his angel, or from how much he’d been pent up. Through it all, Zira continued leisurely fucking him, drawing out every bit of pleasure he could.

Tears streamed down his face as his vision returned. He was looking up at the ceiling, staring at the constellations hand painted by him when they first got this cottage. Every movement around and in him caused delightful little shivers of pleasure, but now that he orgasmed, they were a little more far away. Not nearly as maddening as before, but instead reassuring in their tenderness.

“Are you done my dear?” Aziraphale said, wiping up the come dripping down his chin with a thumb before putting it back into his mouth. “If you’d like to continue, might I suggest switching to the female model? I’d very much like to fuck you now.”

“Please,” Crowley’s voice was hoarse and whiney, “fuck, Aziraphale. Both holes? At once? You’re really trying to kill me here.” He attempted to change his equipment, but it was rather difficult post-orgasm and with Zira still moving into him. “Aziraphale! Please! You’re going to have to change me, I can’t, fuck, I can’t focus like this. Please, please, Angel, fill me up again. Love being so full of you.”

“Of course, love, if you’re sure,” Aziraphale waited for the eager nod, before stroking Crowley’s sensitive cock once. It was a bit different, changing Crowley’s genitalia, but he’d done it before. It had felt invasive the first time, but when Crowley allowed it, the invasiveness of the act served to heighten his already unbearable arousal.

Aziraphale _pressed_ and formed the demon’s cunt, one he knew _intimately_ well. Crowley was trembling once more as he was already dripping, which hadn’t been a part of the magic forming it. That was all Crowley. Aziraphale teased with two fingers, spreading the labia apart before he scooted closer and with Zira’s help, pressed his cock inside that tight, wet heat.

Crowley was completely surrounded by plush warmth. He couldn’t help but think, that if he died this second, he’d die the happiest demon alive. Hands were roaming his chest, thick fingers tweaking a nipple, a hand found its way into Crowley’s hair and pulled, exposing his neck. Zira eagerly went to marking previously unblemished skin. Crowley’s own hands were holding onto anything they could reach, scrabbling for purchase as Zira and Aziraphale alternated their thrusts, rocking the demon on their cocks.

Perks of being a demon, were that, should he choose to, he could have both a g-spot and a prostate. A fact Aziraphale, and by extension, Zira, were well aware of. And now that he’d orgasmed once, he was rather sensitive. It didn’t take much effort on the ethereal entities’ part to make him come a second, then, quickly following, a third time. Crowley could barely focus; Zira bit and sucked on his neck, Aziraphale lay kisses and licked up the demon’s tears, a hand in his hair holding him in place, a hand on his thigh spreading him impossibly further, a hand at his breast teasing a nipple, and a hand on his bum kneading firmly.

Crowley was completely overwhelmed. And with that level of sensation, came surrender. All his pretences, all his guards, all his protections melt away in the heat of Aziraphale’s unyielding love. It was exactly what the angel had been waiting for.

Aziraphale began coordinating his thrusts with Zira, the hand on Crowley’s bum moved to his clit and began rubbing anti-clockwise circles. The bites and sucks gentled to sweet kisses and barely-there nibbles. Like this, Crowley could only make mewling whimpers as Aziraphale eased orgasm after orgasm out of him. And finally, Crowley could begin to feel the depths of Aziraphale’s love, deeper than any Mariana Trench, more unbreakable than graphene, brighter than any star the demon had ever made.

Time was a human concept, and as such was easily forgotten while Crowley was the eye in hurricane Aziraphale. He couldn’t count for that matter either. He’d quite lost track of the number of orgasms he had, caught as he was in sensation. The pleasure had been so intense, every touch, every rocking motion of hips, every ghost of breath set him alight.

Aziraphale and Zira both were quite close to their second orgasms, despite slowing down to focus on pleasuring the demon held between them. Crowley was nearly completely limp in their arms, totally lax and open to receiving pleasure, no longer chasing after it. But, as much Aziraphale would love to keep going indefinitely, Crowley was already going to be quite sore, no need to press it further into painful.

With this in mind, Aziraphale worked towards his own orgasm. Of course, he was going to have Crowley come at least one more time. A feat grown easier with each one, the poor demon was shaking with stimulation, voice hoarse from sobs, and face caked with tears. It would’ve been worrisome if not for the blissed-out expression and pure adoration shining in his eyes. Making eye-contact was just the last thing needed to tip Aziraphale over, as he found both himself and Zira spilling into Crowley. Which in turn, was just what the demon needed to come for the final time that night.

Before Zira was banished away, he was used to help Crowley off both cocks. Zira held Crowley up, a hand under each of the demon’s knees to keep him spread open, as Aziraphale gently cleaned Crowley up with the softest, warm, wet cloth he could summon. He whined and whimpered with each pass of the cloth but didn’t struggle or try to move away. Aziraphale loved him like this, so open and vulnerable, and just for him.

Aziraphale shushed him quietly before having Zira move the demon onto the bed, which had just been miraculously cleaned, and laid him out. With those tasks done, Zira was banished, the energy required to manifest him returning Aziraphale into a rush. It’s enough to make the next tasks less daunting and more routine.

Aziraphale begins to massage Crowley’s tired legs, working up from foot, to calf, to thigh. Then he’s placing an ice pack covered in cloth on the demon’s flushed cunt. Before the old serpent can begin shivering, Aziraphale wraps the duvet around them both and curls up close to share his warmth. With the hand not keeping the ice pack in place, he flicks his wrist and feeds Crowley an ice chip, for his poor throat.

After 3 more ice chips and a half glass of water, Crowley was starting to come back to himself. Aziraphale offered a white chocolate with raspberry filling to the demon’s mouth. It was dreadfully sweet, and just what Crowley not-so-secretly adored. Not that he’d ever admit it out loud, especially not where others could potentially hear, but the demon loved sweet foods. He didn’t partake often, which is what made these encounters, pardon the expression, _sweet_.

“How are you feeling, my dear? Anything I can do for you?” Aziraphale asked, curling tighter around Crowley before picking out another white chocolate, this one filled with white chocolate ganache. Crowley ate that one just as eagerly, tongue cleaning any melty remains on Aziraphale’s fingers.

“I’m good, Angel, a touch sleepy, could cuddle an’ nap for a time?” Crowley hummed and removed the ice pack from his genitals and disappeared it. This allowed him to switch onto his side and scoot back into Aziraphale’s front until the angel wrapped his arms around the demon and held him nice and secure.

“Sleep then, my dear, I’ll be here still when you wake,” Aziraphale whispered as he nuzzled into the soft hair in front of him, breathing deep the demon’s scented shampoo. “I love you so very much, my darling demon,” the angel pressed a kiss to the back of the demon’s head before snuggling in as close as possible.

“I’m starting to realize that Angel, you know I,” Crowley choked, he still had a hard time saying it, despite having shown it openly nearly the entire time they knew each other. But this was important, and Crowley was going to just close his eyes and force the words out. It’s not like they weren’t true, it was just, not something he was supposed to be able to do. But then, he had always been a shit demon. He’d be blessed if he was going to be a shit partner though, so he shuddered and breathed in deep, and said, “I love you too, Aziraphale.”


End file.
